Eyes and Escapes

Planning Paralysis

Have you ever caught yourself having conversations like these in your mind?

“Why did all my plans fail?”

“Nothing is going my way. What’s the point of planning if it’s going to fail anyways? I am not going to plan. Better to just go with flow.”

“I haven’t achieved what apparently others show to have achieved in their life. So I must be a failure.”

This was my internal dialogue until I realised something profound.

And these thoughts translated into actions like this – “my thoughts became my behaviour”

I was having something I call – Planning Paralysis

Planning Paralysis – How?

Ironically, while I thought I was protecting myself from disappointment,-

“I was creating a different kind of pain: the frustration of standing still”

Do you see? This is how self-sabotage looks like!

I am NOT saying ‘you are the problem’ but sometimes, the biggest hurdle to your own growth is YOU.

The problem with Planning Paralysis

Once we stop ‘planning our actions,’ out of fear of failure – our life starts to feel like being on an autopilot, running at the whims and wishes of fate, having no control over our own choices and life.

When we don’t define our own actions and don’t act, we start seeking validation or task list from external sources. This kind of thinking leads to a lack of internal direction. We become good at following orders but lack an internal beacon.

We would start to lack something that’s necessary to build something of your own. Following others’ orders is easy and comfortable, but creating your own plans, rules, and standards gives rise to something called autonomy and a sense of self.

But, then the question arises “Ok! I will put up great strength, will and courage to plan, but what if it fails, and keeps failing. Why must I put myself into a cycle of constant disappointments? What’s the point of that self-autonomy when I constantly feel disappointed. Why plan and set up my own failure.”

Do you notice : the whole question is focusing on the outcome!

Why This happens: The Dangerous Lie We’re All Sold

The reason for this self-sabotaging way of thinking is simple: the lie we are taught to believe.

From childhood, we’re taught to think in terms of outcomes.

• Get good grades.
• Get into a good college.
• Get a good job.
• Get married.
• Buy a house.
• Make wealth.
• Retire comfortably.

Sadly, our entire lives have become a giant checklist.

The message of that lie is simple:

If you plan correctly, life will reward you accordingly.

What they missed telling us is they asked us to “Plan Outcomes.”

Suggesting us to plan is not wrong, but missing out on telling whether to plan outcomes or to plan actions is the point where the lie is sold to us!

But life doesn’t work that way – The Reality!

• Good grades depend not just on your answers but also the evaluators
• A college or a course might be good for many but not you!
• Dream jobs disappear.
• People change or leave.
• Companies shut down.
• Economies crash.
• Interests change.
• You change.

And suddenly you realize that some of your most carefully crafted plans depended on factors you never controlled in the first place.

That’s when disappointment arrives.

Not because you failed.

But because reality refused to follow your script.

Clearly – Outcomes keep changing.

I am NOT saying – “Don’t wish for good grades, good college, good job, marriage or for a person to stay in your life, or a beautiful home, vacation, wealth or retirement.”

Hoping for these indeed makes our life beautiful!

All I am saying is that there’s a difference between wanting these things vs trying to force them into your life.

See the difference? One let’s go and the other holds on. Hello pain!

So perhaps planning for outcomes is not the answer.

A sneak peek into my personal experience

Honestly I had a plan too. A detailed one.

• Study hard.
• Become a doctor.
• Get married.
• Set up a clinic.
• Build a family.
• Live a peaceful life.

It was neat. Logical. Responsible.

There was only one tiny problem.

Most of it happened the way I had NOT imagined.

Life just literally tore up the script.

I moved cities. I pursued opportunities I never knew existed. I found myself studying Artificial Intelligence in Healthcare. I started dreaming about blogging, travel, and a completely different way of living!

This is where the beauty lies in ‘the ripping apart of your life’s script.” I sometimes sit in surprise and wonder all that I am today is what I had never imagined!

Bottom line, whether you like it or not – Life is uncertain! If that hasn’t settled in yet, take your time to realise it. Because it’s worth it! There’s wisdom in accepting this eternal Truth!

If life is going to do whatever it wants anyway, why bother making plans at all?

For a long time, I couldn’t answer that question. Then I realised something that changed the way I think about goals, careers, relationships, and even happiness.

I had spent years planning outcomes.

What I should have been planning were actions

The Shift That Changed Everything

One day I noticed something strange. The things I was excited about didn’t come with guarantees.

• Operating.
• My blog.
• My future YouTube channel.
• My AI course.
• Exploring remote opportunities.
• Even some of the important relationships in my life.

I might get to operate or no!

The blog may succeed. It may fail.

The YouTube channel may grow. Nobody may watch it.

The important people in my life might last or not!

The AI course may open doors. Or it may simply teach me something valuable.

I don’t know.

I have no idea how any of these stories end!

And for the first time, that uncertainty doesn’t bother me. Because I’ve stopped focusing on outcomes. I’ve started focusing on actions.

Planning Outcomes vs Planning Actions

Here’s the difference.

Planning an outcome sounds like this:	Planning an action sounds like this:
“I want a successful blog.”	“I will publish two blog posts every month.”
“I want to be super rich.”	“I will invest consistently every month.”
“I want a lasting relationship.”	“I will communicate honestly and show up authentically.”

One depends on the future. The other depends on YOU

One creates anxiety. The other creates momentum.

One keeps you stuck. The other helps us Grow!

Why This Matters More Than You Think

Most of us are exhausted not because we’re working too hard. We’re exhausted because we’re trying to control things that cannot be controlled.

We want guarantees.

We want certainty.

We want to know how the story ends before we’re willing to start writing it.

But life rarely gives spoilers. It asks for participation and not prediction.

For years, I asked:

“How do I make sure I get the life I want?”

Today, I ask something different:

“What actions would make me proud of myself, regardless of how the story ends?”

That question changed everything, because life has never promised us outcomes. But it does give us the chance to choose our actions and LIVE every single day.

Finally

And hence, I dedicate this blog post to my Krishna!